REVIEWER’S NAME:(The person filling out this worksheet)	Brian Perguachi
WRITER’S NAME:(The person who wrote the essay)	Kevin Weng

Instructions: 

1. Provide comments on your peers’ drafts as you read them on Google Drive.
2. For each of the prompts that follow, please write a detailed response, offering specific examples of strengths and specific suggestions for improvement. While each of your four responses should aim to be ~100 words, take all the space you need.
3. Save to your computer one copy of this worksheet for each peer. When finished, upload this peer review worksheet to your peers’ respective Google Drive folders.

1. What are the most notable strengths of this essay? What parts were strong or particularly vivid, memorable, and/or effective? What writing strategies did you notice that worked well?

FEEDBACK: The most notable strengths of this essay is the way Kevin explains his story and experiences in a smooth manner. It just easily grabs the reader’s attention and makes them want to keep reading. I could picture myself in his story, playing video games and watching my friends get mad at the last player. His descriptions of playing video games with his friends and how he motivated himself to continue his gym journey were very strong and effective parts. I could relate to stuttering too since English is my second language too. The details he included like feelings, thoughts, conversations, and motivational quotes worked very well as writing strategies.

2. How effectively does the language and literacy narrative provide specific details and 1-2 concrete examples of the writer’s language/literacy experiences? How effectively does the language and literacy narrative attend to description to appeal to audiences?

FEEDBACK: The writer effectively does this in his whole essay. He starts with the story of him and his friends playing video games and goes on to say how he messed up in saying a word and how his friend made fun of him for it. Then, he talks about how this made him feel bad and did not want to talk anymore and how he avoided hard words such as “ears”. This was very specific but he could have structured it better. He also explains how he went to the gym to gain his confidence back and includes motivational quotes that he used to keep on working out. I would say that it is very effective to appeal to the audiences because it made me want to keep reading and learn about his story.

3. How effectively does the narrative highlight some central idea about a larger social significance? That is, how well does the narrative explicitly comment on the larger implications of the narrative, making connections to national trends or to the writer’s life, family, generation, gender, race, culture, linguistic background, and/or geographic location?

FEEDBACK: The narrative talks mainly about himself and his friends but does not mention much of anything else otherwise. He does discuss how he is trying to get more confident so that he can speak to other people without struggling and having to practice his sentences before he says them. He also includes his fears which is him opening up. He does make a connection towards the end when he says that he is trying to stop caring what others say about him and how he is trying to not let it bother him. That would be of more social significance since people let what others say get to them and affect them negatively.

4. What areas could still be worked on to further improve this essay? Be sure to provide specific examples and suggestions.

4. FEEDBACK: I think this is a solid essay. Its really good. But a few things i would change are the very long sentences you have in there. For the most part your narrative flows but shorten your sentences a bit. Something maybe that I would like to see are how specific family members treated you differently through your spanish learning journey. Maybe add some more spanish examples in there. Some specific moments where you learn from your mistakes.Add more spanish spice . All and all,i think your essay is pretty solid, it just maybe needs more spanish, and cultural examples.